oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
