Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
