so explain again why im purple
no
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
