She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
