i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
