What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
