The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He better not be in your backpack
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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