is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
