and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
