dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
