I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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