Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
