spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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