I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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