Porn is love you can see.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
