i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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