I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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