pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
