come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
