The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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