party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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