Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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