he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
