2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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