Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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