I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
