end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
