How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
