this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
