question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
