You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
