he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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