I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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