But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
