Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
