well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
