Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
