too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
