What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
