did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
