I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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