then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
