Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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