sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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