this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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