I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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