Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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