I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
