I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You took a bar mat shot.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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