worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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