If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
