So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
