i don't like sucking hair
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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