I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
